You might have heard the advice that be confident, but what is the confidence?
Were You confident or doubtful while giving your first interview?
When you felt most confident while giving exam in you study days and when most doubtful or in fear?
How much confident you felt in your first presentation and when less doubtful in later presentations?
How confidence plays its role in getting sale done or any deal done, for the sales guys?
Suppose you wants to do something new like writing a book or learning piano or starting a blog, how much confident you feel?
Do you feel confident or fearful while talking to seniors in jobs and to unknown people?
When were you confident last time? and when were fearful?
What is mean by confidence in daily life:
When standing alone in social gathering without being overtly self-conscious or uncomfortable.
When able to give presentation to senior management confidently.
Walking up to stage and speak your heart out without any thought about how people think of you as a speaker.
When able to talk to a stranger and initiate pleasant conversation
Able to say “No” to people without being thought of their judgements.
From above situations it is derived that you are confident when you are totally and completely at peace with who you are in every moment, interaction and experience. Which reflects from the mind state having competence in a situation.
Or in other words when you become too much involved and at ease in any activity without any thought of fear, failure or worrying about the result, outcome and the judgement from others. Then this is the state of optimum confidence.
When we are not confident then our body language is dull and when having confidence then body language becomes active. When mind is nervous then body language becomes dull as the positive intention of human mind to squeeze the energy in order to avoid to move in a direction which mind considers wrong/negative/fearful or may result in negative outcome.
Fear is the root cause of low confidence:
Fear from exams: What will happen if I don’t get desired result and won’t get admission into good college.
Fear when speaking on stage: What others think of me, Fear of unknown….. this is the first time I am going to speak what will happen. Lot of questions….If…Yes…..If….not.
If mind does not have prior experience into any activity then it is going to fear into any unknown experience for the first time and this is genetic for the most of us.
Question arises, can a person become absolutely fearless ? , No that’s practically not possible but Yes there can be acceptance of the fear with the knowing that fear is there while not giving importance to it but just being aware of it.
Several Factors affecting confidence:
=> Genes that a person is born with impacting neuro chemicals in the brain
=> How you are treated in the environment ex. home, office
=> Perks you have control over, choices you make and risk taking ability
=> Beliefs that you are worthwhile, capable and believable
=> Body Language while walking, talking
=> Skill competence level
=> Prior experience into the activity or the power of repetition
=> Awareness about the mind state with its strengths & weaknesses
What is confidence:
Belief that you are worthwhile, capable and believable and having optimism in your abilities and empowered by these to act courageously to face the challenges heads on. This is confidence. It turns acts into actions.
Our brain releases thousands types of chemicals and these chemicals controls our mood and mind state. When could not sleep properly in the night or when someone make fun of you then it feels bad because of chemical imbalance in the brain. Dopamine is the chemical who regulates our feel good factor and generates happiness & confidence in a person.
Confidence is the most desired resource in life. If the self confidence is low then it can be increased by doing several things. It is not genetic and there is no need to depend on others to increase your self-confidence. Somehow if you believe that you are not very smart, competent then it can be changed.
Best strategy is to know your talents and help them shine while improving the weaknesses.